Good Friday, 10/04/2020
Created: Monday 13th April 2020
Welcome to my first blog post!
I particularly don't enjoy writing about myself. The thought of having to do something that brings attention to me makes me uncomfortable, and I'm pretty inexperienced doing this.
Nonetheless... I was still asleep this morning (Easter Monday) while I was forced information in my dream state to write about my first ever experience on mushrooms. It happened on Good Friday. So here it goes... my first guided written piece of work!
Keys to the soul... I'm here to work.
“You see, a secret is not something untold. It’s something which can’t be told.” - Terence Mckenna.
I was never into anything radical when I was younger. It was only just before hitting 30 that I started to hear about hallucinogens, their names, and their uses.
I remember feeling pretty separated when people would react to my questions (mainly out of curiosity). It was odd to almost everyone that, at my age, I had no education what kinds of drugs were out there. But I had no friends since I was a teenager, and that was my choice: I removed myself from the hype and experimentation (thankfully). Since I was 14 years old, I was dedicated and consumed about figuring out my dad, and I only started to become more social by the time I turned 23. To me friends were distracting me from what I needed to do. So I isolated myself. I convinced myself since forever, that I'm not here to have fun.
Gods honest truth.
40 days leading up to the ceremony
I've always had a strong connection spiritually. My intuition was always spot on, and I could see for miles.... nothing prepares you to jump down the rabbit hole though. No one can describe Earths medicine, as experiences are unique to your own psyche. What you find there is ultimately your own reflection, and your intention. And what you feed yourself can ultimately affect your experiences. Sex, television, and your diet. These factors are actually paramount when considering to take any form of medicine, and people don't take this seriously enough.
Besides the nut milk, I changed my diet to whole food (I'm Vegan). Nothing processed, just whole plant food, and always organic where I could find it. I was intermittently fasting: only eating meals between a 6 hour window everyday.
I've been shown visions for 2 years now to take mushrooms, I knew I had to get my body clean, and I added a 3 day dry fast at the end to reset my body. This was 3 days consuming no food or water, and I felt ready and great as a result.
It was an interesting week leading up to the Friday. I was still unsure that Good Friday would be the day I'd do it, as it was the first day I was consuming food and water again. However, exactly a week before the ceremony my visions were morphing mushrooms before my eyes. In the woods I was shown the tops of mushrooms twisting up like a Mr Whippy ice cream. I journeyed again a couple of days later: watching a dirt mound pop up in the middle of the forest with mushrooms sprouting on top. It was lightning fast travelling through the woods as though the mushrooms were coming to get me. I honestly thought I'd be meeting strange bugs or aliens on mushrooms, from what I saw. Like something very fantasy orientated, but in fact it replicated all spirit medicine, and maybe activated some DMT in me too? The mushrooms were definitely calling me.
I would never take plant medicine for the sake of taking it, and never without an intention. So.. after being quite nervous for a long time... I jumped that cliff.
I believe mushrooms and other plant medicine have to be respected. It is a force that casts spiritual work required in you, and we are here to learn.
Blending these mushrooms into a blueberry and banana smoothie was the best idea. Not only did it taste amazing, it was so strong, and I didn't feel nauseas throughout the ceremony like other medicine did. By far the best tasting medicine.
I currently live in the south of England. We're very fortunate here as during November time, the mushrooms rise up all over the woods and in marsh land. I picked my own with my partner, and I thanked the Earth for letting us receive these mushrooms. After having no experience on mushrooms, it's hard at first to know which ones you're able to consume. So I'm grateful to have a guide. We picked quite a lot, and we've had those mushrooms stored since last year... just waiting for the right opportuniy to hold a ceremony.
My partner and I wore our ceremonial outfits, both in white (I aim to wear white for every ceremony). I finally had the opportunity to wear my beautiful white gown I bought from Morocco during Christmas week 2019. I smudged myself using sage and Palo Santo, and meditated on my intention.
Journeying on Mushrooms...
After finishing the medicine, it didn't take long for the psilocybin to take effect. Like all medicine I've taken, it always begins by pushing my fear and anxieties first.
It was there just long enough to acknowledge it, and it isn't really a fear of mine. For the reasons that I wasn't uneasy about it at all, I was just observing.
Personally, I think the spirit world is actually bullying me. Pushing me to talk about my experiences. It began with strangers all around me, people I had no association with, laughing at me, and mocking me. I knew right away what that related to - who I've been told I am. Yet after so long and even now, I still refuse to talk about. That possible reaction from people does hold me back to comfortably open up and talk about it. I'm still not ready to share it yet. So maybe this is a fear?
It's true that truth is stranger than fiction. I do feel safer not sharing. Previously, all other medicine TOLD me who I am... mushrooms made me realise WHO I am. Perfect divine timing (always).
Even with the notion that the message is encouragement to face my fear, I think I'll let the universe mock me a little longer. My instincts tell me: you can receive too much information too soon. I still have a lot of work to do, and I'm waiting for the Universe to remove my obstacles so I can do the work.
Throughout the ceremony, I had a beautiful playlist with the most amazing journeying music. I like this one: https://soundcloud.com/maayand/prayer-for-healing-great-mother-peruquois-solar-wind
It's so interesting to me how much I learn and work with medicine so beautifully, rather than losing myself to it... just like my Partner did ;-)
In brief, he ended up worshipping me. Then he sat beside me imitating a Gargoyle. Which is great, because Gargoyles have the spiritual connection of a guide, friend, protector - keeping all evil spirits away. He was like a statue for the longest time, so I was just sat there with him, patting him on the head until he came back. Funniest experience I've had on Medicine.
I was so deep on Mushrooms at one point, it demonstated to me all the pain happening in the world. Touching on child abuse, and the crimes against the animals.
I have never been so heartbroken with realisation. I demanded all cruelty to stop. Even now, it floods a lot of pain reminding myself of it.
It was lovely to be told that both the spiritual world and this world are now coming together as one for me. Before it was so seperated, it was unclear and confusing where I was meant to be heading.
I was told to return to South America. I was shown three to four medicine men pointing at their non-existent watches, letting me know they're waiting for me there, and that it's time now. I can't wait to go back and join them to start.
Following mushrooms, I had an amazing out-of-body experience. I was asleep yet conscious, and I was being used to see through the anatomy of my partner (appeared like an x-ray). Amber lights lit up throughout his body while my eyes were closed. I was breathing in all the ailments out from inside his body to be healed. I've never experienced anything like it before. Through me they taught me something new, and while I thought it was a dream, he confirmed it the following day, and thanked me for healing him.
Thank you for taking interest in and reading my post. I hope to get better at this as I continue. Even though writing was never really my intention, I know doing something you don't want to helps us grow in time.
Perfection isn't really something important to me either, so I hope this was satisafctory for you!
If anyone would like to share with me their experience on mushrooms, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Love and mushrooms!